The Plan to Reengage with the World

With a snap of the fingers (and new CDC guidelines), for those who have been vaccinated, the pandemic seems to be over.

Yesterday, it was publicized that about 62% of the American population have received at least one vaccine. And with President Biden wanting that number to be at 70% by July 4, the world is going to open up pretty fast. That fact, along with the decision of my company waiting until after Labor Day to have us resume on-site work, has me thinking about this oncoming summer of change and what its going to mean for my day to day routine.

Part of me wants to do the same thing I see many others on my feed do; immediately embark on a plan to lose the Covid weight, install healthy habits over the ones that I got into during the pandemic, and be able to walk into my office in September stronger and more sure of myself than ever before. And overall, that is what I’m considering doing.

But I’m going to do it on MY terms, and not based on the pie-in-the-sky goals of what most media fitness junkies want you to strive for. And don’t get me started on the photoshopped-bombshell pictures of what society thinks a healthy, athletic person should look like. I need to think logically, because trying to do it any other way would only exacerbate the chronic illnesses that I’m doing my damndest to live with.

So what is the “right” way to make change?

I think where many of us get into trouble is that they feel like they are starting from a place where they dislike everything about themselves. They hate what their body looks like, and are constantly reminded of what it can’t do. They hate the habits in their life that have made the situations that they are now in, and they want to change everything, and do it NOW. I’m not going to say that doesn’t work, but it definitely is a path that won’t work for me anymore. The last time I tried that plan of action was when I trained for my last half marathon, and ended up losing almost a week of work due to the fact that I had trained myself right into a serious fibromyalgia flare.

We also have to look at our environment. This pandemic has caused trauma to many, many people, and it still continues to do so. We have to be gentle with ourselves so that trauma can start to show itself and begin to heal. Throwing a brand new diet and exercise regimen into the mix isn’t always the best thing when you still may be eating for comfort, or needing to give yourself even more mental rest to be able to get through the work day, deal with familial issues or the political craziness that still plagues the United States. .

With all of that in mind, my suggestion is not going to be to start with the end in mind. Instead, try to simply start with small things that can be done now. In my case, I’ve still been counting calorie on most days, and I have a good idea of how much calorie I eat each day. So my first challenge is going to be to drop that daily range by 100-200 calories. It won’t be much to lose weight, but it’s something to get me in the habit of thinking about what I eat. My second challenge is to add extra activity to my day. It might be walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes, taking my dog out for a walk, or doing more yoga, but whatever I do, am going to do at least one of these each day. And I’m not going to do them to the point where I’m pushing myself; if it means that I’m doing 30 minutes of chair yoga because my legs hurt too much, it’s still yoga, and it still counts. (I also have a plan for 30 minutes of yoga in bed in case I really have a bad flare, just to keep going on my commitment.)

The Next Steps

After about three weeks of cutting a little bit of what I eat and adding some activity, I will then consider to decide what I want to accomplish. Do I want to focus on weight loss, running outside or doing races again? Maybe I just want to work on core strength, or standing endurance for when I get back into the office and start to have those hallway ‘meetings’ when I get asked questions as I’m moving from place to place? Whatever it will be, I want to make those decisions based on how I feel and what I think I can do, not what I feel like I’m expected to do.

Setting small daily goals first is to allow myself to get some confidence that I can attain the larger ones with proper planning and work. And not only will I feel more confident, the two steps I outlined above will start me mentally thinking about the very things that will help me move toward loftier goals with simple tweaking. Sure, I’m not going to be one of those ‘before and after 90-day success stories’, but I’m not willing to beat the shit out of myself to become one of those stories. That’s one of the main reasons why I have the chronic illness in the first place; I pushed my body again and again to be stronger, faster, leaner and endure more, and all I did was create an environment for breaking myself.

Failure is an Option

Things happen, and there will be days when I don’t meat the two goals that I have set out for myself so far. But I’m not going to sweat it. Especially because of the chronic illness, I have to let my body lead here, not my head or what I think I ‘should’ be doing. There may be days where the weather means I have more pain. And while I have that bed yoga routine at the ready, there is a possibility that I may not even have the strength for it.

The other issue is that we aren’t all out of this pandemic, either, and there will still be stressors when dealing with Covid deniers, or those still polarized about the election. Believe it or not, both still exist. In fact, I just had one show up at my house to do some maintenance! I had no idea he was a Covid denier until halfway into the task, he asked my husband what he did for a living, and when my husband mentioned he worked at the hospital, he went on a rant about Covid and false case numbers! Needless to say, I had a drink that night, which put me over my suggested calorie limit for the day, but I didn’t sweat that too much.

Accepting that there will be times that we fail in our goals is not allowing failure to automatically occur. Instead, it’s the first start in not beating yourself up when it does happen (and it will). We are human, and we will fail, as we are not infallible. If we were, we wouldn’t be on this planet in the first place.

In those cases, you have to tell yourself that you will do better the next day, and then work to do so. By doing this, you may find that in the end you will actually have less failure overall, because instead of spending the energy to beat yourself up, you are using that energy to do better.

So those are my thoughts and plans on moving forward through the summer. I don’t have any grandiose plans of trying to run a half marathon or compete in sparring at summer’s end, but I do think that I’m on my way to being just a little bit healthier, mentally and physically, which will serve me well once I get back to the office. And not only has my documenting the plans here forced me to make a public accounting of what it is I want to do (I said it, now I have to do it!) I hope that it allows someone else with chronic illness recognize that they also can do more than they think they are capable of. It just needs to be done in small steps, and sometimes without the main goal in mind.

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